Talking to your child about starting therapy can feel intimidating. It’s a conversation that is as much about timing and approach as it is about the words you choose. Every parent wants to support their child through life’s ups and downs, and sometimes this means seeking professional help. But how do you talk about the subject with your child without causing alarm or resistance?
Understanding Your Child’s Perspective
Children can have misconceptions about therapy, or they might feel anxious about the idea of talking to a stranger about their feelings. It’s important to approach the conversation with sensitivity and openness, so that your child feels supported and understood, rather than judged.
Tips for a Productive Conversation
Normalize Therapy
Start by normalizing the concept of therapy. Explain that, just like visiting a doctor when they are physically not feeling well, therapists can help with social, emotional or behavioral challenges. Particularly for teenagers, it might be helpful to share examples of well-known figures, such as celebrities or athletes that they admire, who have been vocal about the benefits of therapy.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Make sure your explanation fits your child’s age and level of understanding. For younger children, it might be as simple as saying “this is another person you can talk to about how you feel, just like you talk to me.” For older children, it can be helpful to give the analogy that a therapist can help them develop skills to cope with their emotions, just as they might work with a sports coach or dance teacher to learn and practice other types of skills.
Highlight the Benefits
Focus on the positive aspects of therapy, like having another person to talk to, learning new ways to solve problems, learning tools to cope with anxiety, sadness, or other emotions, or simply just feeling better about themselves and their relationships.
Assure Them of Their Role
Let your child know that their feelings and thoughts about therapy matter. Assure them that they can have a say in the process, including helping to decide what they want to talk about. Once you have identified a few therapists that are qualified to address the particular challenges your child is experiencing, it can also be helpful to have older children and teens have a say in the final selection.
Address Their Concerns
Using open-ended questions, ask your child how they feel about the idea of therapy, and try to address any fears or concerns they express. Reassure them that it’s a safe space. Particularly for teens, you should let them know that, at the start of therapy, everyone will work together to establish boundaries and expectations to balance your involvement to support their therapy with the teens’ need for privacy and independence.
Incorporating Online Therapy Options
With the rise of online therapy, it’s also worth mentioning this option as a flexible and possibly less intimidating way to get started. Explain to your child how teletherapy works and why it might be a comfortable way for them to begin talking to someone from their own space at home. Of course, teletherapy isn’t the right fit for everyone, so speak with a professional to discuss if online therapy services would be appropriate for your child or teen.
Getting Started
Starting a dialogue about therapy with your child is the first step towards empowering them to navigate their feelings and get the support they need. Remember, it’s okay to admit if you don’t have all the answers. This journey, like many aspects of parenting, is about learning and growing together.
If you’re considering therapy for your child and looking for guidance or support, contact us at Positive Development Psychology in Westchester. We offer both in-person and online child and adolescent therapy services to residents of New York and Connecticut and are here to help you and your child find the right path forward.