Resistance to therapy is a challenge that many parents face, especially when their children are apprehensive about the idea of sharing their thoughts and feelings with a stranger. This resistance, however, can often be a child’s way of expressing uncertainty, fear, or a simple lack of understanding about what therapy is. In this guide, we’ll explore some effective strategies for engaging resistant children in therapy.
Understanding Resistance
First, it’s important to recognize that resistance is a normal reaction. It can come from various factors, such as discomfort with discussing personal issues, misconceptions about what therapy actually entails, or not feeling ready to address areas of concern (it can be intimidating to face your fears!). Understanding the root of this resistance is the first step toward addressing it.
Strategies for Overcoming Resistance
- Demystify Therapy: Explain what therapy is and what it isn’t. Clarify that it’s a safe space for expressing feelings and that the therapist’s role is to help and provide strategies, not judge.
- Empower Through Choice: Involve your child in the process as much as possible. A solid client-therapist relationship is a contributing factor in better treatment outcomes. Therefore, in addition to picking a therapist that has expertise in the specific areas you’d like addressed, it’s important that your child feels comfortable with their therapist. Let your child know that they will work as a team with their therapist to set the session agenda, so their input will be valued.
- Introduce Therapy Gradually: For some children, starting with less formal therapeutic activities can help ease them into the process. Therapy doesn’t mean sitting on a couch and sharing one’s innermost feelings during the first session. Your child will participate in activities that will make therapy more engaging and help them break the ice with their new therapist.
- Highlight the Benefits: Discuss how therapy can help with specific issues your child is facing, whether it’s dealing with school stress, making friends, or managing emotions. Relate these benefits to their personal goals or interests to increase motivation.
- Address Concerns Directly: Have an open conversation about their concerns. Sometimes, simply knowing that their feelings are valid and heard can make a big difference.
Parent-Based Interventions
If your child is too young to participate in individual therapy, or if your child attends therapy but is still refusing to be an active participant, there are evidence-based parent interventions to address emotional or behavioral challenges that your child may be experiencing. For example, Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE), is a parent-based anxiety treatment program. Another example, Behavior Parent Training (BPT), trains parents or caregivers in the management of noncompliant or defiant child behavior. As a parent, you can seek out the support of a therapist trained in these interventions and learn strategies to support your child that do not require your child’s participation in therapy.
Getting Started
Remember, engaging a resistant child in therapy requires patience, understanding, and a bit of creativity. By demystifying the process, involving them in decisions, and addressing their concerns, you can help your child see therapy as a positive step toward feeling better. The goal is to support your child in a way that respects their feelings and autonomy. Thankfully, there are also effective parent-based treatments that offer another alternative to address areas of concern.
If you are interested in learning more about child and adolescent therapy services, including parent-based interventions, contact us at Positive Development Psychology. We offer online therapy services to clients in New York and Connecticut, as well as in-person services in our Westchester location.